Inside: an honest chat about when you’re dealing with a load of hurt.
Can we talk about something that’s been weighing on my mind and my heart for a while?
I’m sure you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been away from my blog for a while. Was that intentional? No, it wasn’t.
But, if I’m being honest, it’s been really hard to sit down and write encouraging posts (which, is kind of the goal here), especially when you haven’t been very encouraged yourself.
The first culprit: discouragement
Several months ago, I wrote a post on discouragement. (You can peep that post here.). In that post, I mentioned that I felt like someone had signed me up for an automatic delivery of discouragement and had chosen the daily delivery option. Kind of like that time I signed up for a subscription of fancy vitamins on Amazon and they kept showing up at the house, no matter how many times I cancelled…
But, you know, only worse.
Every day (and, honestly, still most days), there was something to cause a great deal of discouragement. It wasn’t so much that I had forgotten to make sure I had on the full armor of God to protect against these attacks.
But, more like, when I had taken a moment to check the damage on my shield and try to figure out a way to repair it, my fingers would get hit with another fiery dart.
Have you ever accidentally burned yourself?
I have. Once when I was in the fifth grade, I stubbed my toe and my wrist landed on a hot wood stove.
It. Hurt. Like. No. Other.
And this discouragement I’m talking about? Yeaaaah, that ended up causing a second, unwelcome delivery.
But, this time: a load of hurt.
The second culprit: hurt
I can’t even begin to describe to you how the discouragement ended up turning into just being plain, ol’ hurt. The hurt I was experiencing ran deep, it ran hard, and it just kept coming.
Some days (and, again, still some days), it felt like this baggage would just be with me forever. It was just something I had to accept and make peace with.
But, the more I’ve thought about that recently, the less I’m okay with accepting it as “well, that’s just how it is.”
It is hard to love others with an open heart when your own heart is gashed, battered, bruised, and bleeding.
I’ve read so many other blogs posts and I’ve heard so many preachers talk about leaving all the pain, the hurt, discouragement, or whatever else you’re carrying at the foot of The Cross.
Pray about it, leave it there, and walk away.
It sounds oh, so easy, right?
And for the most part, it is.
There is nothing, and I repeat: NOTHING, too hard or too big that God cannot handle.
But, what happens when, as you’re walking away and feeling better, you suddenly find your automatic subscription (that you knew for sure was cancelled) was charged to your account and you’ve got another package of discouragement, hurt, and despair waiting on you?
When it’s an entire load of hurt
This is the question I’ve been pondering on lately. This is the question to which I’ve desperately needed an answer.
And, like the Good Teacher that He is, I think I landed on an answer when praying about it.
Let’s think for a second about how Jesus was treated during His ministry and right up until crucification.
Jesus was hurt. Jesus knew hurt. He knew what it was like to be met with opposition and be hurt by it. Every day, people were doing and saying things to hurt Him, both physically and emotionally.
But, what did Jesus do?
He forgave them.
And what are we called to do?
Be like Jesus.
And this is the part where I can hear you say (because I have said this many times over the course of the last couple of years), I am not Jesus.It is hard to love others with an open heart when your own heart is gashed, battered, bruised, and bleeding. Click To Tweet
I’m just a regular human being with a fragile heart. How on earth am I supposed to keep doing this? How am I supposed to be like Him?
It’s a choice
When you’re hurt and discouraged, you experience all kinds of emotions. I’m convinced feeling hurt is just another trick the enemy of our soul uses to keep us from being the people God has called us to be.
We forget that we have a choice.
Yep, that’s right. I said a choice.
Remember Matthew 18:22? You know, the verse where Jesus is discussing forgiveness and instructs us to forgive seven times seventy times?
Jesus is pretty much telling us that we have to forgive daily.
We have to choose to forgive daily.
And just like choosing to forgive daily, we have to choose to remember (and act upon it!) that the love of Jesus covers all… even the hurt we think we can’t get past.
Remember that, dear friend.
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