If you’re able to file your taxes as “single” or if the doctor’s office asks for your marital status and you answer with “single”, then this post is for you, friend. Because no matter what our relationship status actually is (single as a pringle, newly talking to someone, dating, or engaged with a shiny rock on your finger), we all need to be reminded of the importance of waiting for the one. The right one.
I’ll be quite honest with you, friend. Writing posts about singleness and relationships is not really something that I enjoy doing. I’ve got a lot of reasons for why it makes me uncomfortable. But, when God places something on your heart, you better do it. Truthfully, I should’ve written this post weeks ago.
MARRIAGE WILL MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU
My dear mother has a a famous quote that says “marriage will make you or break you.” If you’ve never really thought about marriage in depth and have only imagined it as all unicorns and roses, the truth my mother bears is a rude awakening.
Marriage can break you? No one wants to paint marriage in a harsh light. So, what exactly does she mean?
From what I can tell, marriage is not for the faint of heart. It’s not something to take lightly. And from where I’m sitting, it looks like a ton of work.
Marriage is two very imperfect and terribly flawed people coming together and making a vow to God that they’ll stay together. No matter what. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. Until death inevitably comes and one of you parts (not trying to be a Debbie Downer, I promise).
It doesn’t sound easy. To me, it seems like you really need to be grounded in who (more particularly, Who’s) you are for a marriage to work.
Don’t get me wrong, marriage can be a wonderful thing. Full of joy. And love. And so much happiness you wonder if your heart can hold it all. Doing life every day with your best friend sounds like an absolute dream. Life isn’t always easy, you know.
There really is no question as to why people make getting married a goal. Why would you not strive for that?
But, friend, you cannot marry just anyone. Not everyone, not matter how “good” they may seem, will be your person. Settling for just anyone, simply for the sake of it, will leave you with tremendous pain and heartache. And that’s not how marriage is supposed to be.
Before you say “I do”, there are some things you should consider:
1. DOES YOUR SWEETS KNOW JESUS?
And not just know of Jesus, but has accepted Him into their heart and has a lifelong desire to follow after Him? Maybe this question is a simple one. Maybe it’s extremely obvious, too. But, sometimes the most simple and most obvious questions are the ones that are the most overlooked.
Take some time to carefully consider this question and the answer to it.
2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us “be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
I know, I know. That particular scripture is mentioned allllll the time when discussing marriage. But, there’s a reason it’s so often quoted. That reason, friend, is because it’s relevant.
There are all kinds of things that can hinder a marriage. Especially, if one of you is trying to faithfully serve the Lord and the other is, well, not. If you are trying to serve the Lord and your partner isn’t, it’s almost a guarantee you’ll be meet with opposition along the way.
2. DO YOU AND YOUR BOO AGREE ON SPIRITUAL MATTERS?
Now, friend, I’m not going to go into detail on this one. But, I will say this: as much as I hate this is the case, not all Christians agree on certain biblical aspects. Some may be trivial, sure, and won’t affect a marriage.
Others? Well, not so much. There are some spiritual matters that will most certainly affect a marriage. They will rock your personal convictions and maybe even hinder your own salvation. I won’t take the time to go in depth on this, friend. That’s a post for another day. I do know one thing, though. Anything that puts your salvation in jeopardy is not worth it.
But, I will reiterate my point. It is soooo, so important that you and whomever you are choosing to marry agree in doctrine.
Just trust me on this one.
3. WHAT ABOUT YOUR CALLING?
Just like it’s important to consider differences in doctrine, your calling is another thing to consider before you run to the Justice of Peace.
For me, blogging is a calling and just one of a couple responsibilities the Lord has handed me. If anyone other than God asked me to lay it aside or questioned my faith concerning the other responsibilities, I’d really have to consider if that person truly understood what it is I’ve been asked of God to do. And then I’d have to consider if the relationship was meant to last or be a distraction.
Marriage, friend, is not the end all, be all. But, if you rush it and don't consider who it is you're tying yourself to, marriage could very well be the end of you. Click To TweetMaybe you’re not a blogger, though. Let’s say you’re a missionary. And let’s also say the person you’re dating hasn’t been called to spread the Gospel to other nations. Maybe they feel lead to stay put and spread the Word of God right in their own backyard. One of you will be out of the will of God, and it wouldn’t be the one that hasn’t been called to other nations, either.
If you’ve been called to preach and your honey doesn’t support or agree with that… Well, then, friend, I hate to tell you, but you have more than a slight problem on your hands.
You need someone to support you in your calling. You need someone who will go to the Lord in prayer for you when your purpose starts weighing you down. And you need to be able to do the same for your person, too.
ITS OKAY TO BE PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE ONE
Believe me, friend. I know how it seems that when you reach a certain age, marriage is the only thing the entire world seems to be concerned about. It’s often the first question you’re asked when you see someone you haven’t seen in ages. And if you don’t have the “right” response or right attitude, those well-meaning comments could leave you deflated.
Marriage, friend, is not the end all, be all. If done right, it can be a beautiful partnership that glorifies and honors the Lord.
But, if you rush it and don’t consider who it is you’re tying yourself to, marriage very well could be the end of you.
As my dear momma says, marriage will make you or break you.
Thoughts?